Friday, October 12, 2012

week one in the books

So today was an IV treatment of Phosphatidylcholine which helps the body detoxify.   Luckily it wasn't longer than 40 minutes - I'm a slow drip - oh you sensitive veins - but on the way home i could feel it all crashing in - the meltdown that i have been lucky to avoid - my dad stopped at the store and i felt bad b/c i could tell i was so short tempered - its trying to gain control when everything begins slipping away - focus breathe focus breathe.  The trip home felt like an eternity and when i got back all i could do is narrowly focus on eat and bed eat and bed.  My friend Jami was here b/c her car was getting some work done not to far from here so she had the transport company bring her here.  I walked in the door - Sophie jumping for attention and like a zombie got upstairs into bed and ate the food i had brought with me to my appointment.  I warned Jami - i'm on the edge  - just FYI so please just ignore me and my attitude.

They fed Sophie - tried to take her out but she moved even closer to my back if that was even possible -  as if to say not on my watch am I leaving - so after an hour or so I lying completely still in bed with my headsets on the cliff didn't feel as steep.  Jami made some pasta with meat sauce for me and asparagus and I again ate it robotically and then got back into bed.  I feel a bit more human now - but getting well is sure a lot of work -

Will lay low for a bit - i really wanted to get out into the real world tonight - just a quick trip up the block to the outdoor mall - just wander among people - and forget about all of this.  Days like today after being so positive i sure do miss my old self - okay - pity party over - it always could be worse - i know i am getting better -and getting stronger - baby steps baby steps -well its a almost 9pm and i have begun to feel like a somewhat normal person - that is the good news things can always change - just always hoping for the better.

Why its all worth it - Thanks Kate xoxo


Well I made history for myself - I had another blood treatment yesterday and as I was headed to the doctor i just knew i would be ready - mostly because i felt so congested and tight in the throat and i was thinking if i was i wisconsin right now i would be packing benadryl - and sure enough by body was ready for another treatment and during the initial unpleasantness where the needle was going in and my squeezing my eyes so tight and trying to go in my mind somewhere much more pleasant - it was complete.  My dad had an appointment after me and I'm glad we stayed because i began to get a bit tight in the lungs afterwards - so my doctor gave me a remedy and it helped and today I am going in for an IV to help my liver out with clearing all this infection.  Once again - my doctor is amazed at how my body is responding - and I am crossing my fingers tight.

I had a relaxing night last night - slept pretty well -but now this morning feel like I went a few rounds with Mike Tyson - in or perhaps out of the rink - I saw Mike Tyson a few years back at the resort that we stay next to - he is solid as you would expect but much shorter than i thought - and now he's all peace and love and into pigeons - so that's a good thing....see people can change and if people can so can this darn body of mine.  I have made a bit of peace with it over the last few days - I have really worked hard on not getting so irritated with the symptoms and tell myself they are a reaction to an illness - so feeling so rough this morning I did what I promised myself I would do - I called and asked for help.  My dad and his friend are running errands - he already had helped me with breakfast and took Sophie out - so I called Jami and she is coming over to give me a hydrotherapy treatment - its a bit rushed for her and she needs to head straight to a client - but I asked and she answered and I am thankful.

So this mini little apartment I have going upstairs isn't so bad - it has amazed me what a difference stairs make that I'm not use to - so its good exercise in a way - but I tend to try and not do them too many times in a row - well - that's it for now - thanks to everyone who has been commenting and calling or texting - i've been so tired its Eat - Sleep - Treatments - and do it all over again - I may not be a boxer - but they say its the most fatiguing of all the sports - well Mike you and I have a bit in common then - and its not the face tattoo or the pigeons.

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