Saturday, March 3, 2012

Hello Chin...its been awhile

Last May I had the dreaded experience of heading to the DMV for renewing my driver's license.  You remember the old days when you had to renew it every three years or so - much more of a hassle but at least you didn't have to relinquish your 8 year younger self as I was about to do - and I wasn't to happy about it!  I also remember the kinder years of the DMV before they were strapped with budget cuts and a minimal staff, the jovial camera man who would actually re-take your picture if you didn't like it - those days are long over - in fact while I was there I got a notice that soon they would be taking your picture, but sending all the info to California and then you would get your license in the mail - no more waiting in vain on the plastic chairs with everyone else's anticipation of the most likely awful photo.  Everyone, including myself, tries to play it cool; so you saunter up when you name is called pretending that you don't care how it turned out.  Some of the most laissez faire - resist the immediate temptation to steal an obvious glance while in front of the gallery, patiently waiting until they are alone in their car.

I took my sister for her driver's test - I'm five years older - and I still can't decide if my parents thought she would be calmer with me or they didn't want to be there if she didn't pass! Nonetheless, I swear her smile was bigger and more proud when she picked up that picture than it was when she passed the test.   While she was out on the road test, I had renewed my license and while it wasn't the worst pic, it certainly wasn't great.  What was so entertaining about her photo was her pride in its faboulousness!  When we got home, my mom and I kept stealing glances as she held out the picture like a trophy - but in fact it was - a good DMV picture should come with at least a medal.

So last May, I was relieved that they no longer make you hand over your old ID, because I still use it ( I don't think the cashier at Nordstrom is looking at the expiration date) - not only because I am eight years younger in it, and its a much better picture - but I have a jaw line and a chin!  I've never had a prominent chin, so taking that less than stellar jaw line and adding a bunch of swollen congested anterior lymph chains, and there goes the chin.  So when I went and picked up that ID, that's all I saw,  this double chin puffiness quality to my neck - and every time I pick it out of my wallet it irritates me -

Last October when I returned from Phoenix, a number of people commented that I looked a bit different - and I did - much of the swelling had decreased.  But this trip it has gotten worse as my body works harder to eliminate these infections.  This week all my treatments were aimed at improving the lymph flow, and it seems to have worked.  Last night after about 6pm I was really in rough shape.  I was so fatigued I had trouble swallowing despite being so hungry.  When I get that tired, its like all autonomic functions are no longer automatic - so three times during dinner last night I was forced to spit out my food when the act of swallowing wasn't coming naturally.  After I finished, I climbed into bed and it felt like a super powered magnet - pulling all of my limbs downward, making it difficult to move in any direction.  After about an hour of silence and being perfectly still, a little bit of life began to return.  My boyfriend came in the room to see if I wanted to watch Blue Bloods, I felt good enough to sit up in bed and watch an hour of TV, happy in the normalcy it gave.  After the show, I forced myself up to get ready for bed, and as I caught a glance of myself in the mirror I did a double take - no way - I could clearly see my left jaw line.  I can not explain what a sense of joy that brought, not only because the left side of my face looked like I just got a little nip and tuck - but because it meant progress -

I don't know how long my newly slender left side will hang around - I am guessing it may cycle in and out of swollen and not - but for the first time in many moons - my chin was back!  And let me tell you, if this holds, the first thing I am doing when I get home is heading to the DMV!

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