so what do you do when you feel awful - continue to feel awful - and you can't seem to fix it....you obsess over the perfect t-shirt. i feel like goldie locks..this bed is too hard this one too soft...but ugh i can't find the one that is just right. this is what "we" aka "me" does when i can't seem to fix this thing...i focus on the lipstick..the jewelry...costume or real...and the perfect thing to wear. I use to love clothes and high heals -but when i first started getting sick with my thyroid it was like a 32 year old going through menopause while taking speed - i was just so damn hot always hot. I needed air constantly air - couldn't stand my beloved turtle necks - get rid of the cashmere - just give me a tank top winter - spring -summer or fall.
so as my health changed so did my wardrobe - plus the constant changing of sizes - someone who never knew what it was to have more than one set of clothes for different sizes had lost over 25 lbs - went from not being able to even fill out a size zero - to now squeezing into an 8. Wow - that gets costly - but what doesn't change is my beloved paper thin t-shirts - t-shirts that are baby soft - tank tops - you name it - oh and the "cardy" ( a little Nodding Hill shout out) forget the pull over sweaters - give me a wrap.
so today - as my body just doesn't want to come to terms that any day now would be a good as time as any to get it together - i will put on and take off the orange ruched tank top - to tight - the shiny black v-net t-shirt that felt too clingy - my go to perfect white cynthia rowley t-shirt that i liked so much i went back to TJMaxx to hunt for a second - it had a detergent smell - ahh and finally - that is until i get off the computer and this doesn't seem to work - the paper thin loose white v-neck almost see through white - that will have to do for now - and maybe the next one will be just right - at least something might ass well be. (okay that was an un-intended typo - but i had to laugh perhaps it was freudian slip!)