the fog has slightly lifted, so i decided to try and write the birthday post...
I know why I was day dreaming of birthdays i was actually remembering the 10 days before my 11th birthday when i walked into the house after girl scouts and there was an eerie feeling that was covering the air - and as i walked through the kitchen i saw my grandma and grandpa kelly sitting on the two wing chairs in the living room next to the window, and my aunt on the brown velvet love seat and my mom on the turquoise and lime green striped velvet sofa that i hated, that is until i saw the same sofa in the fabulous house of the perry's - gave it street cred as they say.... i remember that moment of thinking it so strange that at 4 o'clock in the afternoon anyone would be sitting in the living room - all with wide eyes. that's when they told me that george - my dad's dad had died that afternoon - he had a heart attack while driving - and then the world shifted its core and nothing ever would be the same...but while my mind was drifting during the hydrotherapy of that moment in time, then i moved my mind to shift gears and remember my birthday parities - george had died on May 6th and my 11th birthday was May 16th - a combined party had been planned with my friends at dixon school that had closed and with my new friends from tonawanda - to be honest i can't remember if i ended up having that party - as i was lying coccooned in the blankets of the hydro treatment bits and pieces of birthday images came to me in random flashes...
the party with the cake that looked so much like minnie mouse, that george thought it was a pillow and put his hand through it
the party i was too little to remember but i was wearing a pretty yellow dress, with my hair in a high bun, wearing white sunglasses and holding onto my big bird stuffed animal posing for a picture on our rock wall in the front yard
the party where my cake had the little plump plastic characters from the Peanuts characters
the party where my cousin marybeth dressed up as a clown and made balloon animals
the party where my mom designed t-shirts to look like retro pink lady bowling shirts
the party where my mom silk screened blue and green t-shirts with the image of a carton of eggs open with one cracked and the phrase "heather cracked a dozen" and then the two teams went and played baseball and had a picnic in the park
my "sweet sixteen" where melanie and i were carded to see an R rated movie and we ended up hanging out at the mcdonald's until my parents came to pick us up
my surprise 17th, where the night before when a bunch of my guy friends stopped by i was confused to find every imaginable age appropriate drink in the refrigerator in the garage when i asked if anyone wanted something to drink, and then we went and cruised down hwy 100 with my dad's convertible. Then the next night was the party and i was shocked with a roomful of people in our basement with the forrest scene wallpaper and i got a stereo and my first ever CD - Journey -thanks nerd!
my 25th where my "boyfriend" pulled a no show but it didn't matter because my fabulous friends made it one of my favorite birthdays -
one of my mid-thirty birthdays where i was by myself in phoenix and spent the day at the phoenician resort.
many birthdays that my aunt would take me the week before on a special trip to buy an outfit, and the one time we went to burlington coat factory i found this adorable lavender sweatshirt skirt and top with purple hearts cut out of the material - the same purple sweatshirt i got blood all over when i walked into a glass door in florida
many birthdays that instead of a present my grandma dreske would take me for an afternoon out to lunch and then hand me an envelope with a check
i saw an interview on the local news the other night saying that people either collect things or experiences, and most of us to a bit of both - and it made me happy that when i was reflecting on my birthdays, despite i am sure getting really wonderful presents, that wasn't what came to mind - it was the time and effort and feeling that they all had - so thanks mom, dad, my sister and friends, for always making my birthdays special -