Sunday, May 12, 2013


I got a Facebook message from an old friend saying they were looking forward to my return to Wisconsin "powerhouse".  And I powerhouse.  Those are your real friends, your true friends, the ones that some how "get this".  These are the people I am ever so grateful to have in my life.

I have been addicted to "The Mindy Project".  First, I love her clothes, her apartment and her irreverence have kept me company on some pretty bad days.  And okay, I needed to hunt down this sweatshirt...but not so hard considering apparently there are a ton of websites for that, is where i found this one.  So then as someone with a lot of time on my hands I decided to get her book...Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Mindy Kaling.  Hang in there, I will make a point soon I promise, bit brain foggy and this story is going much better in my head than on paper..well computer...
Good Song...Feel Again..Cute Montage..
Two friends seeing each others strengths when they can't...
Okay, so back to the "powerhouse".  I was reading the aforementioned book and there is a section in it where Mindy and I in real life have a little bit of shared history.  The details are a bit different and so is the ending, but I was thrilled to read someone else write about an experience I have tried to capture in the written word...being stuck on a high dive.  The difference is Mindy finally jumped, I held my ground.  This is the important stuff, because I consider Mindy Kaling a "Powerhouse."  A smart, witty, take charge writer, director, actor and producer...who did I mention wears great clothes.  So if this "Powerhouse" was convinced to jump, I have now come to the conclusion that not jumping - well that was a powerhouse move.

I am thankful that in the mid 80's there were not camera phones or youtube or facebook because now in hindsight this is all just a memory to be recalled and altered as memories do over time.  Instead of this event  being played over and over and over and expand this moment in time.  What are children to do now that their moments are captured forever?

I was ten, I think.  It was a dare.  And I may have written about it before, but this is the difference, I am beginning to see the "Powerhouse" evolve.  And for some reason the timing of reading this montage in the Mindy book and Gina's powerhouse comment I was lying in bed and this thought popped into my head...I bet George (my dad's dad..aka my grandpa) spun this story if he had been asked to emphasize   the not so immediate conclusion that this was a powerhouse move.  He was good at has taken me a bit longer.

This is how I hear him telling it, "You wouldn't have believed it.  All the pressure, the life guard first demanding she jump and not climb back down the ladder.  Then another life guard, Scott gets up on the high dive and stands behind using all the coaching muster of a enthusiastic cheerleader with every gimic possible to convince her that jumping off this high dive is the most amazing life altering thing in the world.  Still no, she stood her ground.  Not even after they blew the whistle and cleared the pool with all these angry kids not being able to swim now on a hot summer day sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet dangling in and all eyes staring up, ahh the pressure.  Then a child even got kicked out of the pool for jumping in not giving this "epic" event it's due respect.  You should have seen it, her toes were dangling off that board for at least 20 minutes and still that stubborn little Taurus decided no folks, not today.  Nope she still stood her ground, honestly, give me one solid argument why a ten year old needs to know how to jump off of a high dive and can't climb back down the ladder.  There is none...and she knew that...that's my girl."

Me, Holly and Sophie...and the sweatshirt 

At the time it felt like a failure, however, somewhere deep down it cemented the idea in my head that somewhere in me if it means something - I will not back down.  Sometimes that is all we can do, we can't win or change something but we can decide to not back down.  And within that simple concept is the only seed you need when you have nothing else to maybe win the war.  It showed me I could stand up to enormous pressure if I dug deep.  It gave me the courage to not stop looking for treatments, to battle with doctors, to get a Midwest plane to go back to the gate so I could get the hell off.

So thanks Gina, I guess there is a Powerhouse somewhere in me, just depends upon how you look at it and often it takes others to point it out.  Isn't that what we all need, for our friends and family to see our weaknesses as our strengths when we can not.  And back to our Powerhouse Mindy Kaling...well that is the great under story in the relationship between her and her TV partner, they see each others strengths, even when not admitting to it...

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