Sunday, October 2, 2011

Andy Rooney

Today was a big day - a very big day...mildly quoted from Jerry McGuire.  Today, I completed the entire day by myself.  This sounds like the statement of a child on their first full day of school, or a teenager the first time they were trusted to be on their own, but for anyone out there knee deep in chronic fatigue, you will most likely feel what I mean.  From waking to an 8:25 pm bedtime, I did every step of this day on my own.

My family many joke live similarly to an India, Indian family  - without the large compound, but often it seems that would be more practical.  My sister and her family live in the house behind mine, or as they would prefer, I live behind them - since they were there first.  My parents, live three turns - including turning in and out of driveways, and less than a mile, where my 96 year old grandpa lives with them.  And four turns from them, less than a mile is my aunt and uncle.  So this weekend, when they all made the trek to the Packer game, my boyfriend left for the Brewer's playoff, and my best friend was in Green Bay covering the game - I was left alone to hold down the forts.  And I would be lying if I wasn't nervous.  I made my own breakfast, made my beloved Sophie her breakfast, went and let my sister's dogs out, took them for a short stroll - they were in heaven, due to my fatigue - it was mutually beneficial to let them stop and smell to their hearts content - went to the grocery store, drove boyfriend to Brewer game, stopped for coffee, got sophie a doggie carseat, back to sister's fed dogs, walked through backyard got myself food, back to sisters, short stroll with all three dogs, back home, made dinner, cleaned up dinner, brushed teeth and here we are....I made it.

Seems to most like a pretty relaxing, chill day, but for me, it was monumental.  I am sure I am not speaking to just those with Chronic Fatigue, but any long time illness, one of the overwhelming concerns is the dependency on others.  Somedays its mandatory, and its a strange feeling to need someone to make you breakfast, or go to the grocery store, or take your dog outside, or unload your dishwasher.  And I am so blessed that I have a large group of people, that go out of their way to help me do these things.  But today, I felt grateful that I completed it on my own.

My dad, a saint among us mortals, called me at least 10 times from the Packer game, when they got there, waiting in line to get in, when they got in, at half time, walking back, when they got back to the car, you see the pattern here - but it meant the world to me, because it made the day not so scary.

Tonight, was Andy Rooney's last regular segment on 60 minutes, and he said -

- People have often told me I said the things they’re thinking themselves, I probably haven’t said anything here that you didn’t already know or have already thought, that’s what a writer does, there aren’t too many original thoughts in the world – a writer’s job is to tell the truth – I believe that if all the truths were known about everything in the world, it would be a better place to live – 

thanks andy, often what is a block for me as a writer is wondering if i have any original thoughts, now i won't spend much time fussing over that, because writing the truth, that i can do.

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