Saturday, August 25, 2012

Dear Dr. ...You are correct i DO NOT HAVE CFS

Dear The following doctors....the one's at Mayo Clinic that took all the blood humanly possible but somehow failed to do a full thyroid panel....the one I respected that said i had too many good days....the Endocrinologists that assumed I must be puking in the bathroom because I was 100lbs and my TSH wasn't off....the one that didn't seem to care that my blood sugar was plunging after all meals...the OBGYN that told me my 30 minutes of walking wasn't good enough for my heart b/c I should be reaching anaerobic threshold....need I go on...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! you were all correct - you win the prize - you are smarter than me - you have a medical degree but I have the f'ing brains....I don't have some lame ass named chronic fatigue syndrome....yuppy flu....I have neuro-endocrine-immune disorder - so despite you being wrong about everything else - breaking my trust and my spirit - you win - I am not merely tired - I have a brain that can't seem to tell my body that I am now vertical so please compensate...I have a body that defies the conventional wisdom that no matter what the condition exercise will make you feel better...I have an immune system that has turned on me declaring war on the most pleasant of smells and food to send my body into a high alert code red...I have mind numbing fatigue....I have a digestive system that leaves me feeling weak...I have multiple co-existing chronic star for all of you - apparently you were right all along...I do not have f'ing chronic fatigue...I can only wish.

But guess what I don't care what you said - how you said it - I don' t care that somehow you seemed to lose all common sense and brain cells that you brought with you to medical school and traded on it for  your many years of treating lab results and symptoms rather than people...I forgive you....but I have yet to forget anyone of you....and today would not be a good day to bump into me in the grocery store.

The normally absurdly pleasant patient - who learned her lesson.

p.s.  All you ever had to do is say that you didn't know what was wrong - but you would help me figure it out.


  1. Sounds like a horror story. The Internist who diagnosed me tried to get me into the Mayo. In retrospect I'm glad he didn't. I've heard too many stories similar to yours. It is so dispiriting to be so sick and not have it show up on "their" tests isn't it? I feel it's way past time for this disease to be better understood. My roommate's folks are visiting, but while they are sweet, they don't get why I'm in bed so much of the day...sigh
    Doesn't it just make you angry?

    1. Thank you...I have a wonderful set of doctors now. (both NMD and MD) ...I don't know why this came to me today, but for some reason while i was in the shower this morning i began composing that letter in my head...maybe because I this week i was dreading seeing a new doctor - the cardiologist and he blew my mind in his compassion and listening and it made me grateful that i didn't have to deal with what i had with in the beginning....hope you are doing better - congrats again on the camping!


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