I've had a really bad sore throat all weekend, and today when I went into the doctor my lymph nodes in my neck are really swollen - perhaps they have moved down from sub-mandibular (under the jaw) area and down my neck - fine with me they can keep on walking right on out of here!
My family has been in town, my sister, her two children and my parents. Plus this weekend my Uncle who lives in California came for a quick visit. For some odd reason having all my family here has made me homesick - which seems strange. I guess all these reminders of home make me miss my actual home. Not that I should complain, since where we are staying is so gorgeous - but its not home. And as much as I like to pretend that I am a very young snowbird, that's not the case. Addison has decorated my walls with a few of the pictures she found that I had in my drawer next to the bed, so now on the wall and glass door hold random 4x6 snapshots. I also had my mom bring me my sheets and duvet cover from home on her last visit - which each night I am grateful for.
Also - having everyone here, has made me acutely aware of how little I can do - when its just me and Marc here, we get into our monotonous routine - breakfast - lunch - drive to Dr. - drive home - rest - maybe swim or short walk - dinner - tv - bed - wake up and do it all over again. But the hustle and bustle of a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old on a vacation has stirred the pot. And as much as I love it, its frustrating to half participate. There are many brights sides, one being the good night routine with Addi - we watch a bit of a movie, then stories - and her unknowingly kindness she freely gives can break one's heart. For example, yesterday when I got back from the doctor she was having a party in my room - and when I said my throat was really bothering me - she came over and kissed my neck - and then went about stirring up her colander of soup for the party - complete with ripped kleenex and my iPod headsets as the ingredients - if kisses from a three year old could wipe out this illness - I would be currently cured.
Kindness. That little kiss - or out of the blue - I love you - or hug from a not too steady 1 1/2 year old make me yearn to be better before they realize one of these aunts is not like the other...that most adults don't spend the majority of day in bed...but for now they don't notice a thing - but I do.
Last week, I opened up my Facebook page and there was the following message -
...you are awesome! you are so sweet and always recognize and notice everybody! yep, you are officially going to heaven!"
I can't tell you how it made my day, and also made me a bit confused, because Sophia, who left the message and I though we went to high school together, same homeroom, she is not someone that I have regular contact with - and when I commented that I don't know what I did, but I will take it - she replied
"It shouldn't be unexpected...I think I speak for everybody! Yep, I'm the spokesperson" -
Kindness - it goes a long way - and the days like today - when I can't seem to concentrate well - the words i want to say aren't coming freely - my neck has hives - my eye lids are rashy - and I would really rather have gone to Nordstrom with the gang than be in bed and I begin to wonder besides being extremely high maintenance what the "f" am i doing that really matters anymore...then I force myself to be grateful, to focus on that unexplained message - that doing "something" isn't something monumental - this illness has forced me to re-evaluate my definition of being accomplished - and that simple Facebook message meant more than the author could have known - because it reminded me again of the power of kindness - and if i can accomplish that - that is enough. It took an unsolicited message to wake me up again - so thank you.
A friend of mine has started a website and Facebook page dedicated to just that - random acts of kindness - I encourage you to join it - Uncommonly Kind - there are wonderful stories - and this is one I will add -